A film based on a classic Oscar Wilde tale, that, it seems, is almost completely different to the book itself. So, we can say it's loosely based, or just used the title and the whole painting business, and filled the rest in with sex, drugs and rock and roll. Well, rock and roll is going a bit fair. But, sex and drugs take up three quarters of this movie to substitute the rock and roll.
I'm sure you all know the story. A man aptly named Dorian Gray travels to London to go back to his house. A painter paints Gray's "beautiful" face, as called many times during the film, and hangs it up in Gray's home. But, this picture is one of mystery and wonder. A painting that ages, rather than Gray himself. It's more a story of how things can get into a man's head doing many stupid things along the way, thinking he's absolutely invincible to everything, but in the end, this is his downfall. A plot so familiar, we don't realise that Oscar Wilde was the first to write such a story.
Ben Barnes plays Gray, the star of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, in a role that is completely different to the Prince. A sex, drugs and alcohol addict, hell-bent on sleeping with every woman in London. Cue many pointlessly short scenes involving Gray having sex with a girl, Gray having sex with a group of girls, Gray having sex with both men and women, and Gray having sex with a mother and daughter. At least, I think that's what I saw. Over and over again. Oh, and there's even a short gay scene too, for good measure.
On the plus side, the film is visually stunning, with the incredibly designed Victorian London houses, and the stark colour contrasts from scene to scene - when we first see Gray's signs of madness, it is in his dark, mysterious house living room, scratching at the painting, and the next, a very bright, blue scene in another of London's many upper class Victorian houses, and the next, Gray is walking through a dark, dingy back street, looking for a prostitute to satisfy one of his many needs. This continued through the whole film, and it was something that struck me throughout the film.
However, the film was far too long. The story could easily have been told in 90 minutes, but the film stretched closer to the 120 minute mark, with half an hour of sex and drug scenes. The film's predictable ending was one of no surprise, and what should have been a powerful final scene to end on, the film suddenly shoots to another scene, in which Henry (Colin Firth) is on the phone, and says something about Agatha. God knows who Agatha is, but the scene remains.
4.6/10.
Saturday 26 September 2009
Wednesday 9 September 2009
District 9
The idea behind District 9 is based upon new-boy director Neill Blomkamp's short film, Alive in Joburg, an idea strung up by Lord of the Rings legend, Peter Jackson. What happens when a rookie and a veteran combine? Well, quite simply, brilliance caught on camera. Observe.
The story is simple enough. An alien ship mysteriously stops above Johannesburg, South Africa, and aliens land on planet Earth. The Joburg'ians don't take too kindly to these aliens and segregate them from the rest of Joburg. And while making a case to move all of the aliens out of Joburg and into a new area called District 10, something, inevitably, goes wrong. Our main character, Wikus van der Merwe, gets infected by some alien "fluid" as they called it in the film. And the result of the infection makes him move to District 9, the only area where he will feel moderately safe, even with aliens living around him.
Special effects are an integral part of this film, with all the aliens in the form of CGI, and look absolutely breathtaking. First sighting of these creatures is one of bewilderment, seeing how strange and not-like-any-other-alien-ever-seen-before the creatures are. The tentacle like arms and mouths are brilliant, and their own language is one of total uniqueness. Evidently, months of work has gone into designing the creatures down to every last detail, and you will not be disappointed. They move like humans and interact like humans, which makes really warm to them through the film, knowing that they're not ravenous beasts of fury. For me, these CGI creatures are a real step forward, cinema wise. They almost looked real, it's the best special effects I've seen in a long, long time.
District 9 was shot with a mix of documentry-style interviews and hardcore action shots. They blended really well, and it was easy to figure out which were documentry and which weren't. The whole film was shot with "shaky camera", so provide a more realistic, in the action affect. Without this, I don't think it would've been as good.
Sharlto Copey is the man to take on the role of van der Merwe, and considering this was his first big screen lead role adventure, he's nothing short of outstanding. His character is a bit of a misfit, doing his best at his job, but never impresses anyone. van der Merwe is a character that you have to like, he doesn't do anything wrong, he's been wronged, so you immediately feel for him when he suffers the consequences of his infection. As the infection spreads, Copey changes van der Merwe into a character that wants to be cured to get back to his wife, and will do anything to get himself cured. A man hell bent on destruction to get his way. But you never lose faith, per say, in Merwe. He stays funny throughout, making comedy out of his luckless situation. But what is most incredible out of this new-boy actor, is that he improvised his whole dialogue. His whole dialogue, through the whole 1 hour and 53 minutes, with Merwe being in nearly every scene. Unbelievable. Surely this spells big things for this guy.
The films undertone is one that is obvious to everyone - racism in South Africa. In the wake of Mugabe's ridiculous rise to power over the past few months, District 9 proves that no matter who you are or where you come from, no one likes any major changes. The xenophobes that make up most, Merwe included, of the cast, and it's these films that make us realise that we really are, to put it nicely, kind of fucked up. And we need that sorted. District 9 points out what we all know happens, but don't do anything about it, worrying about what could happen as a result.
My only very, very, very minor gripe is the amount of swearing. Almost every Merwe line after around the 30 minute mark has a swear word in it, be it "fuck" or "shit". But, considering situation, what would anyone else do but swear at everything? So, on that basis, it won't affect the overall score.
To conclude, District 9 is a different, complex, funny, exciting, gory, and one of the best films you'll see in a long, long time.
A new-boy director. A new-boy actor. A new-boy movie. A new-boy runaway hit.
9.4/10.
The story is simple enough. An alien ship mysteriously stops above Johannesburg, South Africa, and aliens land on planet Earth. The Joburg'ians don't take too kindly to these aliens and segregate them from the rest of Joburg. And while making a case to move all of the aliens out of Joburg and into a new area called District 10, something, inevitably, goes wrong. Our main character, Wikus van der Merwe, gets infected by some alien "fluid" as they called it in the film. And the result of the infection makes him move to District 9, the only area where he will feel moderately safe, even with aliens living around him.
Special effects are an integral part of this film, with all the aliens in the form of CGI, and look absolutely breathtaking. First sighting of these creatures is one of bewilderment, seeing how strange and not-like-any-other-alien-ever-seen-before the creatures are. The tentacle like arms and mouths are brilliant, and their own language is one of total uniqueness. Evidently, months of work has gone into designing the creatures down to every last detail, and you will not be disappointed. They move like humans and interact like humans, which makes really warm to them through the film, knowing that they're not ravenous beasts of fury. For me, these CGI creatures are a real step forward, cinema wise. They almost looked real, it's the best special effects I've seen in a long, long time.
District 9 was shot with a mix of documentry-style interviews and hardcore action shots. They blended really well, and it was easy to figure out which were documentry and which weren't. The whole film was shot with "shaky camera", so provide a more realistic, in the action affect. Without this, I don't think it would've been as good.
Sharlto Copey is the man to take on the role of van der Merwe, and considering this was his first big screen lead role adventure, he's nothing short of outstanding. His character is a bit of a misfit, doing his best at his job, but never impresses anyone. van der Merwe is a character that you have to like, he doesn't do anything wrong, he's been wronged, so you immediately feel for him when he suffers the consequences of his infection. As the infection spreads, Copey changes van der Merwe into a character that wants to be cured to get back to his wife, and will do anything to get himself cured. A man hell bent on destruction to get his way. But you never lose faith, per say, in Merwe. He stays funny throughout, making comedy out of his luckless situation. But what is most incredible out of this new-boy actor, is that he improvised his whole dialogue. His whole dialogue, through the whole 1 hour and 53 minutes, with Merwe being in nearly every scene. Unbelievable. Surely this spells big things for this guy.
The films undertone is one that is obvious to everyone - racism in South Africa. In the wake of Mugabe's ridiculous rise to power over the past few months, District 9 proves that no matter who you are or where you come from, no one likes any major changes. The xenophobes that make up most, Merwe included, of the cast, and it's these films that make us realise that we really are, to put it nicely, kind of fucked up. And we need that sorted. District 9 points out what we all know happens, but don't do anything about it, worrying about what could happen as a result.
My only very, very, very minor gripe is the amount of swearing. Almost every Merwe line after around the 30 minute mark has a swear word in it, be it "fuck" or "shit". But, considering situation, what would anyone else do but swear at everything? So, on that basis, it won't affect the overall score.
To conclude, District 9 is a different, complex, funny, exciting, gory, and one of the best films you'll see in a long, long time.
A new-boy director. A new-boy actor. A new-boy movie. A new-boy runaway hit.
9.4/10.
Sunday 6 September 2009
(500) Days of Summer
Now, I'm not usually a man for soppy RomComs, but this one was different. This was that film that makes you feel good. This was that film that wants you to do something different. This was the film that I absolutely loved.
In the words of the narrator, this is a story of boy meets girl. But it isn't a love story. And that's exactly what it was. It didn't follow the predictability of most boy meets girl films. It's the film of boy meets girl that follows the true life script, rather than the happy-go-lucky script where everything falls together, something that was summed up perfectly in the "Expectations meet Reality" scene. Exactly what normal boy meets girl films are. Expectations. But this was a true, reality film, that broke the barrier and is up there with the best RomComs of my generation.
The film was beautifully shot, with split screens and the jumping back and for between the 500 days was a stroke of genius. It was so simplistic, so creative, so brilliant.
But this was more of a Com, than a Rom. Another way it defied all the odds of a typical boy meets girl story. The typical story follows the Rom, but this was the Com of it. Winning performances from the two leads, Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Summer (Zooey Deschanel), made it the Com. You could not have put a better pairing on screen if they were a real life couple. It was as if they'd known eachother since they were small children, laughing and joking together like there was no tomorrow. But what makes the film is that neither of them are the typical "jock" or "cheerleader". They're the normal, shy ones that realise they're in love with someone because of who they are, not by the size of their penis/breasts. Bah, this review has gone all soppy.
The film was very funny indeed. A number of one liners made me laugh out loud. One particularly memorable line is "Roses are red, Violets are blue...fuck you, whore." That had me laughing. For a fair while, truth be told. Also, Tom's work compatriot-come-drinking buddy McKenzie (Geoffrey Arend) is brilliant, with at least 1 classic line in every scene he's in.
My only gripe of the film is that I was slightly confused by the goings-on during the leaping back and for, thinking that what went on at 350 days (just a made up day, I can't remember when I got confused) was contradictory to what happened a matter of days before that. Sadly, we can't all be perfect, but this was almost perfect. Almost.
8.8/10
In the words of the narrator, this is a story of boy meets girl. But it isn't a love story. And that's exactly what it was. It didn't follow the predictability of most boy meets girl films. It's the film of boy meets girl that follows the true life script, rather than the happy-go-lucky script where everything falls together, something that was summed up perfectly in the "Expectations meet Reality" scene. Exactly what normal boy meets girl films are. Expectations. But this was a true, reality film, that broke the barrier and is up there with the best RomComs of my generation.
The film was beautifully shot, with split screens and the jumping back and for between the 500 days was a stroke of genius. It was so simplistic, so creative, so brilliant.
But this was more of a Com, than a Rom. Another way it defied all the odds of a typical boy meets girl story. The typical story follows the Rom, but this was the Com of it. Winning performances from the two leads, Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Summer (Zooey Deschanel), made it the Com. You could not have put a better pairing on screen if they were a real life couple. It was as if they'd known eachother since they were small children, laughing and joking together like there was no tomorrow. But what makes the film is that neither of them are the typical "jock" or "cheerleader". They're the normal, shy ones that realise they're in love with someone because of who they are, not by the size of their penis/breasts. Bah, this review has gone all soppy.
The film was very funny indeed. A number of one liners made me laugh out loud. One particularly memorable line is "Roses are red, Violets are blue...fuck you, whore." That had me laughing. For a fair while, truth be told. Also, Tom's work compatriot-come-drinking buddy McKenzie (Geoffrey Arend) is brilliant, with at least 1 classic line in every scene he's in.
My only gripe of the film is that I was slightly confused by the goings-on during the leaping back and for, thinking that what went on at 350 days (just a made up day, I can't remember when I got confused) was contradictory to what happened a matter of days before that. Sadly, we can't all be perfect, but this was almost perfect. Almost.
8.8/10
Tuesday 1 September 2009
The Final Destination 3-D
It's been a while since my last review, so here's my latest - a review of the (quite) popular franchise, Final Destination. Having seen the previous 3 - yes, this is number 4, despite the deceiving title - I had high hopes for the final installment (at least, I think it's the final installment) to offer scares, laughs and everything in between.
Unfortunately, I was disappointed.
The latest batch of misfits to be part of "Death's plan", were four teens, maybe 19/20 years old, a character who had no name and was just called "Racist", a mother of two children, the husband or boyfriend of a girl who dies in the best way, which is explained later, and a Security Guard. Nick, the unfortuante be-holder of preminitions, played rather poorly by Bobby Campo managed to get these 7 lucky people from a Speedway race, just moments before hell broke loose. The highlight of the film was the preminition itself, giving full use to the clever 3-D effects, with debris seemingly flying out of the screen (ironic, considering a later scene) from the race track, and spiky objects all over the stadium, impaling people left, right and centre, cars and engines flying into the crowd crushing the unfortunate mother-of-two and many people getting crushed by the collapsing ceiling. The highlight, however, was the first death in the preminition (a woman being be-headed by a tyre), and therefore the first real death of the movie, by, err, getting be-headed by a tyre, the first-preminition-death was the element of surprise, the first-real-death being the goriest death of the movie, with the addition of seeing the unfortunate woman's head and spine strewn over the floor.
Sadly though, the film never reaches the standard of the first preminition.
The following deaths were lacking in gore and scares to fully satisfy the onlooking cinema audience's need for scares. Probably the reason they came into the cinema to see it. Instead, they were treated to a film that was either intended as a horror, but surely failed, or intended as a comedy, but surely failed. It was impossible to tell which genre it was aimed at, with Nick, Laurie (Nick's girlfriend, Shantel Van Santen) and Janet (a friend, Haley Webb) taking it way too seriously to take it as a comedy. However, Hunt (another friend, Nick Zano) and George (the security guard, Mykelti Williamson) provide comic relief at a satisfactory level, with George having the most laughs after his attempted suicides which all failed, due to the fact that he wasn't "next on Death's list".
Overall, it was a film of a satisfactory level, brought down by the lame lead actors and actresses. But as the opening preminition is the best yet, I'll give it the most average of average scores - 5.0/10.
Unfortunately, I was disappointed.
The latest batch of misfits to be part of "Death's plan", were four teens, maybe 19/20 years old, a character who had no name and was just called "Racist", a mother of two children, the husband or boyfriend of a girl who dies in the best way, which is explained later, and a Security Guard. Nick, the unfortuante be-holder of preminitions, played rather poorly by Bobby Campo managed to get these 7 lucky people from a Speedway race, just moments before hell broke loose. The highlight of the film was the preminition itself, giving full use to the clever 3-D effects, with debris seemingly flying out of the screen (ironic, considering a later scene) from the race track, and spiky objects all over the stadium, impaling people left, right and centre, cars and engines flying into the crowd crushing the unfortunate mother-of-two and many people getting crushed by the collapsing ceiling. The highlight, however, was the first death in the preminition (a woman being be-headed by a tyre), and therefore the first real death of the movie, by, err, getting be-headed by a tyre, the first-preminition-death was the element of surprise, the first-real-death being the goriest death of the movie, with the addition of seeing the unfortunate woman's head and spine strewn over the floor.
Sadly though, the film never reaches the standard of the first preminition.
The following deaths were lacking in gore and scares to fully satisfy the onlooking cinema audience's need for scares. Probably the reason they came into the cinema to see it. Instead, they were treated to a film that was either intended as a horror, but surely failed, or intended as a comedy, but surely failed. It was impossible to tell which genre it was aimed at, with Nick, Laurie (Nick's girlfriend, Shantel Van Santen) and Janet (a friend, Haley Webb) taking it way too seriously to take it as a comedy. However, Hunt (another friend, Nick Zano) and George (the security guard, Mykelti Williamson) provide comic relief at a satisfactory level, with George having the most laughs after his attempted suicides which all failed, due to the fact that he wasn't "next on Death's list".
Overall, it was a film of a satisfactory level, brought down by the lame lead actors and actresses. But as the opening preminition is the best yet, I'll give it the most average of average scores - 5.0/10.
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